September 24, 2006

'Considered a fool cause i dropped outta high school'

Schools suck. Homework sucks. The system sucks. And to be honest I am seriously considering quitting school. It's a waste of my time and I could be doing better things with my life. Those would include my passion for my language, history, and helping people. Creating doorways and oppertunities for people. Living my purpose.

Let's be honest: school doesn't allow me to live my passions. And those of you who say "Just get it over with. Get it done. It's good to have." Well, listen to me when I say this rant. I've just woken up the fact that the past 11 years of my life have been a complete waste of my life. And I am fucking pissed off.

Now don't get me wrong: I'll still go for my diploma and get the GED. But with quitting school I'll have way more time to really start learning. To really start getting a real life. School prohibits learning. It deny's it. It promote and forces obidience. I'm sick of the force fell horse shit shoved down my mouth by my family, my community, my leaders and my culture.

Successful indigenous people suffer through school, get high grades, move onto university into subject they don't care about and end up in jobs they have no passion for.

I'm sick of that. I'm sick of the conditioned beliefs I've been fed with high school and my community. I do want to go to university one day. But I'm never going to go to university untill I am able to withstand the colonial high education. Untill I'm in a stable decolonized place where I am strongly into my religion and heritage. Walking the talk.

And what a better way to walk the talk then quit school. Decolonization? Well the high school's are the biggest thing trying to assimilate me in my life right now. I want to become less like a settler.

Walking in two worlds? One foot in a canoe and one foot in a boat, will make you drowned.

After all this firery energetic voicing, your wondering why dont I do it. And it's a good question I'm figuring out.

To be honest, I'm a bit of pragmatist. I'm looking at my options. I think people should do what ever they want, but understand the consiquences. I'm looking at the effects of this decision. (Most of which I like.) I'm a bit afraid. It'll be a hard struggle because of the prejudice that exsists in my family, my community and my culture (not traditional, I mean rez culture).

I'll consult with friends, look at my options, then declare what my decision is. But you're seeing the first signs of radical and revolutionary actions by a 17 years old indigenous youth.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.


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